So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
