Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize