addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How does one acquire holy water?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
