i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
