im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
