Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize