Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize