so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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