Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
