and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
