A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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