Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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