you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
