How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
