what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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