Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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