Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
