You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
