Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize