both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
