After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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