question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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