Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
