U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
