Swine flu. Run for my life!
Non-Jews are for practice
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
