wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think people are normalizing furries
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