Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
