do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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