The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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