help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
