well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
