I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
