I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
