I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
