As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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