i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
