at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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