last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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