Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
