Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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