So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize