I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
