Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
