In the future we'll all be gay
I can text with my tongue
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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