Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
