i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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