Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
