So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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