Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
