Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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