You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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