Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
