Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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