OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
